Religion
EasterSarah: Did Jesus die on Good Friday?
Teacher: Yes. Sarah: Well he didn't have a very good Easter then, did he? +++++ Teacher: Who found Jesus missing from the tomb? Vince: Mary and the fairy. (Angels and fairies have many similarities in illustrations.) +++++ Kate: Jesus died on a hot cross bun. +++++ Tammy: Jesus was dyed on a cross. (I'm wondering what colour.) +++++ Anna: Why are you making that hat? Alex: For the Easter vomit parade. +++++ Vince: Miss, Jesus was born at Christmas? Teacher: Yes, that's right.. Vince: And he died at Easter? Teacher: Yes. Vince: Well, he didn't have much time to enjoy himself, did he? |
ChristmasOver the years many discussions have been overheard in classrooms as Christmas nears. It turns out that the three wise men brought gifts of gold, frankenstein and mercury, though some debate that the third was really mirth.
+++++ Teacher: Mary was Jesus' mother. Tony: (whose eyes lit up as though he suddenly understood) Oh, Mary Christmas. +++++ Teacher: What is holly? Kate: You know, the holly spirit that happens in church. +++++ Carl: Jesus was born in Birthliham. +++++ Over the years children's responses to the question, "Who is Christ?, answers have ranged from Santa, to Santa's dad or even Santa's mum. +++++ We were discussing the three wise men. Ross: I know what that star is called. Yonder star! +++++ |
... and everything else
Teacher: Who was Jesus?
Todd: King of the juice. +++++ Pat: You know what? God gave me this curly hair, but gee I hate him for it. +++++ A group of children had constructed a church out of blocks. Jack: Now, who's going to be the Prime Minister? +++++ Teacher: What is a church? Vince: It's a place that has those baby washers. +++++ Peter: My mum goes to church to have a mash. +++++ Sally: We saw some church people coming today so we pretended to be out. +++++ Jared: Hosa lives up in the sky. Teacher: You mean Jehovah? Jared: No, I mean Hosa. He makes the rain. +++++ When shown a picture of Joseph's coat of many colours, one child insisted it was Jesus' jammies. +++++ |
Marny: I know what baptise means.
Teacher: Oh. What does it mean? Marny: It means you go under water and say a prayer. +++++ Teacher: Jesus was a carpenter. What does a carpenter do? Bill: Lays carpets. +++++ In art the children had made flower collages. Gordon: Mine looks like the Garden of Even. +++++ On seeing two nuns walk by - Gary: Look, there goes two brides. +++++ Teacher: I didn't see you sneak in Gavin. Gavin: Well, if you don't use your eyes, God might take them off you and give them to a blind man. +++++ On finding a photograph of a baby in a long Christening robe. Janet: Oh look! A baby bride! +++++ Sue: My Gran has a Bible. She calls it the rolly book. +++++ Tanya: (looking at a picture of Noah's Arc) I wonder who is driving that thing? +++++ |